Five. Today marks the fifth Hanami party I’ve attended this month. At this point I’ve seen through the veneer of the “looking at pretty flowers” excuse and realized it’s an excuse to get hammered and eat food. Not that I’m complaining. However, this Hanami party was hosted by the local organization for foreigners the ICIEA (Imaginary Cow Insurgency Evaluation Association). Being a more family oriented association, there was markedly less drinking and more of an emphasis on the food; they had an outdoor tea ceremony too.
Brewster, Captain Crunch, and I arrived about 30 min. after everything had started up. There was already a large crowd of people milling about and some kind of quiz game was starting in the middle of the park. Being the social butterfly that I am, I skulked around in the large crowd of onlookers before abandoning the event area to scope out the surrounding area. I found a giant stone.
Let it never be said that social awkwardness doesn’t have its perks.
Upon my return, I spotted Captain Crunch standing around doing nothing. I quietly joined him in his quiet contemplation of the nothingness that was happening all around. Birds of a feather.
Sweet Devil [formerly Kohrn]: Hey Colgan.
Human interaction? Crap, words, need words.
Eventually noon rolled around and the ICIEA people started distributing bentos. Brewster, Captain Crunch, Sweet Devil, and I grabbed our bentos and sat down in the middle of the park. While we were eating a group of Chinese students started playing some games. One was identical to throwing bouquets at a wedding, and the other one was…well we didn’t know what it was. All except one person formed a giant conga line. Then the remaining person stood at the front of the line, their mission was to get to the end of the conga line and tag someone…we think. There seemed to a be a lot of conditional rules, sometimes the person that was “it” would tag the second person in the conga line and win. Other times they would manage to get to the back of the conga line but everyone in the conga line would then sit down, seemingly making them untaggable. During our evaluation Captain Crunch piped up.
Captain Crunch: Quebec is always surrounded by girls huh?
[Looked over to see that Quebec was indeed surrounded by girls]
Sweet Devil: Are you jealous?
Captain Crunch: Jealous? Yes, very.
Sweet Devil: It’s because he’s a foreigner, all the girls want to practice English so they go and talk to him. Colgan is a foreigner too, but he doesn’t look like it so girls don’t talk to him.
Did I just get insulted…?
Brewster: You should get a girlfriend.
Me: Why do you want me to get a girlfriend?
Sweet Devil: He wants you to give him grandchildren!
Sweet Devil: By the way, have you gotten more Japanese since you’ve been here?
Me: Japanese? Maybe. I am apologizing a lot more.
Sweet Devil: Are you becoming more feminine?
Sweet Devil: Look [points to the purse-ish bag that Captain Crunch is wearing], would you wear something like that?
Sweet Devil: Brewster has one too!
Thinking about it later, I realized that the bags that Captain Crunch and Brewster had weren’t too far removed from messenger bags.
That combined with some earlier comments has given me some cause to worry.
-Brewster: You’re not a foreigner.
-Seven: You’re more Japanese than Japanese people.
I might be making a rather fabulous return to America.