Chatterbox

Sampling of various conversations I’ve had, or been involved in, while in China.

Mama: You guys clubbing a lot huh?
Ongbak: Yeah, it’s a lot of fun; you should come too.
Mama: I don’t really like clubs.
Ongbak: So then what do you do for fun?
Mama: I…don’t have a lot of fun.
Ongbak: …

(While chilling at Arsenal’s apartment we hear sounds from the bedroom)
Ongbak: Uh!
Patches: Oooh!
Ongbak: Ungh!
Patches: Ahh!
Me: [awkward glance to Arsenal]
[Ongbak and Patches emerge from the bedroom]
Arsenal: You guys have fun?
Patches: Yeah, I’m tired.
Ongbak: You guys want to wrestle too?
Me: Nah, I think I’m good…
Patches: Ongbak had a good anaconda back there.
Arsenal: Really? How big was it?

Ongbak: You’re drinking beer?
Mama: Yeah, but only to help me sleep.
Ongbak: That’s pretty bad.
Me: It does seem like something a single mother would do though…
Mama: 什么?
Me: 单身妈妈.
Mama: [glare]

I accidentally knock over Mama’s beer.

Me: Crap, sorry.
Mama: It’s OK.
Ongbak: He’s trying to help you! You shouldn’t drink so much beer.
Mama leaves to get another bottle.
Ongbak: Now he has to knock over that one too.
Me: This is why daddy left us!
Mama: 什么?
Ambassador: She’s going to hate you.

Montana: But no, really, I can be really philosophical sometimes, it just doesn’t make any sense when I try to explain it in English.
Patches: It doesn’t make any sense when you explain it in Spanish either.
Montana: No, [don’t remember the name] understands me!
Patches: She doesn’t count, she’s Columbian too. You go on your rant and she’s just like ‘Si, si, Las Montanas…’

Ongbak: Damn…it’s gotten really cold lately.
Sparks: Winter is coming.
Me: [laughing]
Ongbak: …I don’t get it.
Sparks: That’s because you’re not a Game of Thrones geek.
Ongbak: Whatever, I just can’t believe it’s this cold already.
Me: Did you see a dire wolf?
Ongbak: What?
Sparks: Again, Game of Thrones geek.

Me: So I was a bit surprised to find out that Mama likes Eminem.
Arsenal: Yeah, it’s weird right? When she first came to the apartment she brought chocolate ice cream and put on some Eminem. It’s such a great idea, I mean, who doesn’t like ice cream?
Me: Lactose intolerant people?
Arsenal: They like it too, it just messes up their stomachs.
Me: Touche.

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