Ongbak, Dack, and I return from picking up a friend’s cat that Arsenal is going to take care of for a week.
Ongbak: Where’s Arsenal?
Mama: In Ambassador’s room.
(We enter Ambassador’s room to find Arsenal asleep on the bed)
Ongbak uses cat on Arsenal.
Arsenal wakes up!
Arsenal: What the hell? Oh hey, a cat.
Ongbak: Why are you sleeping in Ambassador’s room?
Arsenal: …I don’t know.
Me: Do you have any clothes on?
Arsenal: Not even a little.
Mama: No! Don’t do that!
Me: Sorry, I don’t really understand Chinese.
Mama: It’s not a problem with language, it’s a problem with your IQ.
Me: You’ve gotten mean T_T
Mama: Everyone gets stupider when they’re in a relationship. I would always think “I’ll never be like that” but when I was with my boyfriend I got stupid too.
Me: Really?! You’re already pretty stupid so getting stupider must have been quite the feat…
Mama: What does ‘feat’ mean?
Me: …I’m not sure if I want to explain it right now.
Nappy: You can speak Japanese?
Me: A bit.
Reeses: Say something in Japan.
Me: You mean Japanese.
Reeses: Just say something!
Me: (What do you want me to say?)
Reeses: Oh my god, you’re speaking Japanese!
Me: (Why do you want to hear me speak Japanese anyways? I’m not a native speaker. You should ask Garlic to speak in Japanese.)
I gesture towards Garlic.
Reeses: I don’t understand what you’re saying.
Me: (I’m saying if you want to hear Japanese you should ask a Japanese person.)
I gesture towards Garlic again.
Reeses: Why do you keep pointing over there?! [punches me] Stop talking in Japanese!
Me: You’re the one who told me to!