War Stories

Ongbak is moving out of Beijing to go attend a university in Ningbo, a province near Shanghai; which makes this a good opportunity to write up the anecdotes involving him that never made it to post status. Plus I can avoid immediate reprisal from him if he doesn’t like the stories.

Queue flashback sequence

I met Ongbak the day I moved into the dorms, which I guess isn’t too odd considering he is my roommate. But fun fact, Ongbak only slept in the dorm room once the entire time he was my roommate (2 and a half months). I also became infamous amongst the dormitory staff simply for being his roommate, but that’s not important right now.

Anyways, no one was in the room when I first got there, I was however greeted by masses of clothes and other paraphernalia packed away (kinda) into the corners of the room. Across from a desk decorated with mostly empty alcohol bottles and littered with all sorts of doo-dads sat my completely barren desk. It was a weird contrast. After taking stock of the room, and determining which parts of the room were mine, I dropped off my stuff and left to find an ATM so I could pay my safety deposit for the room.

I returned to the room after paying my safety deposit to finish sorting out my things. Again, there was no one in the room when I got there. I did however notice that the room had been tidied up a little since I had left. After unpacking some things from my bag I left to walk check out the area around the campus. I closed the door behind me and turned towards the elevators, as I did this Ongbak walked right past me and towards the door I just closed.

Ongbak: [opening the door]
Me: Hey…I think I’m your new roommate.
Ongbak: Oh hey, I’m Ongbak.
Me: I’m Colgan, nice to meet you.

We exchanged some other pleasantries before I excused myself to continue my plan of learning the area around campus.

Ongbak: Hey, do you want a sandwich?
Me: Ah, no thanks. I don’t really eat sandwiches.
Ongbak: OK, Cool. Just don’t tell anyone I have sandwiches.
Me: Of course.

Whoops.

Ongbak: Have you ever been in a fight before?
Me: Not really, the only person I ever fought was my cousin when I was a kid.
Ongbak: Yeah, that doesn’t really count.
Me: I’m guessing you have?
Ongbak: Yeah, a few. One time I was walking outside of a club and I saw a guy beating up a girl. Everyone else was just standing around watching.
Me: Damn…
Ongbak: Anyways I wanted to break it up so I went up to the guy and pulled him away from the girl. I wanted to separate them and then try and figure out what the hell started the fight. So I grab the guy and start lifting him to get him away from the girl…but I misjudged how much he weighed and used way too much power. So what was supposed to be a quick, ‘get away from the girl’ thing turned into a suplex.
Me: Ouch.
Ongbak: And when I was halfway through the suplex I heard a loud bang. When I recovered from the suplex I saw that the guy was lying unconscious in a puddle of boiling water. Apparently I hit the guy’s head on the edge of a food cart and knocked a pot of boiling water over on to him. After I saw that I decided it was probably best to get away from there…
Me: …

Ongbak: So I got into another fight at a bar.
Me: Of course.
Ongbak: The place was pretty crowded and I accidently bumped into another guy. We both spilled our drinks, which sucked, but what are you going to do? Anyways the other guy starts getting all pissy and demanding I pay for his drink. But I spilled my drink too so I told him I wasn’t going to.
Arsenal: Was he Russian?
Ongbak: No, he didn’t look Russian.
Arsenal: But he might have been.
Ongbak: I’m pretty sure he was American. Anyways, I blow the guy off and go back to dancing. A little later I head outside the club. Once I’m outside the club the American guy and his friend come up to me and start threatening me. After a little while the American guy throws a punch at me, I deflect it and then grab his neck and start throwing knees into his chest. The whole time this is happening his friend is trying to throw punches at me, but I just use the American guy as a shield and keep throwing knees. After a couple more knees to the chest I throw the guy down to the ground and run away. The other guy didn’t chase me, I’m pretty sure he was just trying to help his friend up after that.
Arsenal: This story would be way better if he was Russian.

[Calling Ongbak on the phone]
Ongbak: Hello?
Me: Hey, what’s up?
Ongbak: …not much.
Me: Have you guys eaten yet? Do you want to go get some food?
Ongbak: Yeah…food. Bring some chips, soda, ice tea, sandwiches, cookies (indistinct mumbling)…
Me: Huh?
Ongbak: …
Me: Hello?
[dial tone]

This happened twice.
Both times I brought snacks and became a god.

I guess that sums up the stories for now. Ongbak is (was?) a nice, laidback guy who really helped me settle in to Beijing my first couple of weeks here. He also taught me fighting techniques and nerded out with me about League of Legends.

Best of luck in Ningbo buddy.

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3 Responses to War Stories

  1. David says:

    Where did he sleep all these time when he was in Beijing ? I assume he transfer to Ningbo because of his girl friend rather than a better Universtiy ?

  2. Aaron says:

    Nice to see you’re still keeping with your American CBS sitcoms, even overseas.

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